Nicole vs. Life
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
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