Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
you didnt know i had herpes?
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
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