i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
