Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

Sorry bernccl09 hasn't picked any favorites yet.

ADVERTISEMENT

(207): View more from Maine

Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.

Fav 21 4739 1537
share tweet
(715): View more from Wisconsin

Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!

(218): View more from Minnesota

I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.

Fav 29 5249 2251
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

(360): View more from Washington

Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.

Fav 13 1423 743
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(503): View more from Oregon

I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.

Fav 3 723 486
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(603): View more from New Hampshire

Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.

Fav 0 46 6
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT