The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
Can I color on your dick again?
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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