you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
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