am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Randomize
