in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
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