he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
