Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
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