Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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