she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize