Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
