Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
