she looked like the before picture.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
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