forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Randomize
