Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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