In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Randomize
