oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
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