I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
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