We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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