my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
