I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
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