we're blogging at a bar
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize
