She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
