handjob tips. give me some.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
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