were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
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