I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Randomize
