I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
