so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Randomize