you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
Girls should come with a carfax report
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
