come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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