There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
Randomize
