I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
I lost the right to judge tonight
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
