Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
