he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
