Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
