How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
It's shark week go big or go home
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
