Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
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