I hate all girls vehemently.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
