im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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