it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
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