I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Randomize
