We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
