i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
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