Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
not ubering you a puppy
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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