I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Randomize
