'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
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