Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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