Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
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