I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Randomize
