Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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