i don't plan on having that self control this summer
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
