Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Randomize
