It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
Randomize
