I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Randomize
