it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
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