Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
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