watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
