I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
