Just fell off a train. Bad.
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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