The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
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