don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
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