I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
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