Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
We need to feng shui this bitch.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Randomize