is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Randomize
