Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
Randomize
