So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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